I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
