so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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