Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
should my penis look like a turkey
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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