do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
