Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
