margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
