i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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