He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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