So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
