I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Randomize
