I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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