I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
