There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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