I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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