Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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