in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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