I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
