So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
