i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
