KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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