your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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