awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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