Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
