so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
