Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
