another moral hangover. fuck.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
