the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
