I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
