Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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