No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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