Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.

(810): View more from Michigan

I think you know the answer.

(248): View more from Michigan

How can I marinade myself in Vodka?

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(850): View more from Florida

if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him

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(514): View more from Quebec

dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself

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(805): View more from California

come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat

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