ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Are these your boobs on my camera?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
