Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
