i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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