I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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