worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
