I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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