Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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