when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize