and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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