The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
