So drunk its hurt
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
