For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
