I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
There r osticjed everywhere
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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