Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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