the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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