I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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