Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
