Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
