Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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