i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
