Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I supernannyed him into submission
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
