Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
