i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You smell like a Billy Joel song
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
