No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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