I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize
