you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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