this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
