Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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