Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
