Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
