from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
