You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
