for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
