Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I want her autograph on my taint
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
