When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
