All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize