Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
