Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
