Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
