The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
