A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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