apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
how drunk are you?
Several
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
