Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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