Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
