i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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